I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Come on in and take your pants off
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