What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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