Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
