as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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