Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
