how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
