i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
