my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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