More tranny stories later!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
