Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
