he wants to bone in the snuggie
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
