i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
