i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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