At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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