ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
why do cheetos always look like penises
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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