is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
