Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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