idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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