My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize