I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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