WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
