some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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