Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
