sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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