"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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