every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
