I need help removing her.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
