Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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