I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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