I look better un-naked...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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