I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize