is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
