hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
