we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
