Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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