I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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