Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
this is an emotional support booty call
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
