The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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