I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
