spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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