ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
