walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
