I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
