If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
