i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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