no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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