1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
