Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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