she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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