And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
