butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
