roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
