No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
