ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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