Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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