He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
