I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
that is very illegal...i love you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
