i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You don't make any sense
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