You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
