Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
