You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
sex in a hospital.. check
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
