I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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