Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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