You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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