got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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