As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
