Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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