i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
