i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
