Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
