if you like me you must not know who I am
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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