if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Actions speak louder than pants.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
