so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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