dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
nutella sex= disaster
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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