We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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