i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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