He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You have to summon your inner elephant
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
