Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
