I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
